midnight thoughts

//another tl;dr post

right now, all i can think about are:

conversations under the moonlight, singing songs in a camp fire, watching the stars under a blanket, deep conversations until the sun rises, long road trips with friends, laughters echoing, screaming random retarded things whilst on the road, staying out late pulling pranks, bonding in sleepovers, running to nowhere, being comfortable in the company of friends, or just being happily retarded together

- and fuck, just a lot of things that could and should have been.

i need a makeover - both body and soul. i need to renew my spirit. i need to refresh it and feel rejuvenated. i need something to fill me. i need to ignite the fire inside of me again. i've been feeling pretty lifeless lately. routine is draining the life out of me. i need to feel alive again. I need something to smack the living daylights out of me. i need to get hit in the face by life again, i need to wake up.

Awake.

I need to be awake.

I need some kind of retreat. A break - from everything. My soul can't rest until it gets what it needs. Not exactly detaching myself from everything and everyone but actually quite the opposite. I need people, I need places, I need life - happening. I need to feel infinite, invincible and fearless again.

I need teen camp again.

I can't stop thinking about getting shipped to a far away place in the hills stuck with people for 5 days. the possibilities are endless, i can tell you that from experience.

or maybe even just a 5 day trip with friends. we'd be out of town, exploring places together, taking thousands of pictures, staying up all night, eating different dishes, experiencing thrilling activities and good lord, the things we would do! we'd be unstoppable!!

I really hope I can make that possible, sigh. :/

maybe college could turn this mood 360 degrees around.

let's hope to that.