Thursday, May 12, 2011

Hello, College.

Just finished 2 days of LPEP, or more of like, brainwashing and I still haven't been converted into a true Lasallian. Even the term seems more foreign than endearing to me. Forever a (bitter) Atenista talaga eh. Hahahaha. Sorry DLSU, you're gonna have to try harder to change this girl's allegiance. Faithful pa din sa ADMU eh. HAHAHA. Di na talaga pinakawalan. It's gonna take more than free food, things, friendly/hyper upperclassmen, and a welcoming program to get me to be one of you guys. I swear, major brainwashing. It's like they wanted to penetrate through my brain, fuck the insides so bad that I get convinced to love DLSU.

BUT THEY FAILEEEEED.
I'm not hatin' on my college though. They're okay.
I'm just a very bitter girl who still, upto now, hasn't accepted her fate. :'(

Here are some notes i've made about my LPEP experience over the past few days:
  1. There are cute guys on campus. THE LORD IS TESTING ME. HAHAHA. I'm kidding of course. It's a test of faithfulness, lol. Although, happy school crushes are fine. STALKING MIGHT BE A BIT OVERBOARD THOUGH HAHAHA. KIDDING. Just need a fine god-like boy to look and drool at from afar. AHAHAHA. I've always expected that I'd be free as a bird once I get to college and I was definitely excited by the idea of mingling with new guys, but that's not the case anymore. I used to look forward to finding someone in college, but I can't anymore. Although I am more than okay with it. It's nice to have someone at the end of the day.
  2. Anyway, I swear, we saw this cute guy in Itl' Studies and my blockmates all went APESHIT and super stalker mode, okay. Like, my gay friend was so funny. (YES I HAVE A GAY FRIEND! I LOVE IT!) =)))) He'd freak like hell everytime he saw him. AHAHAHA. The guys taken though... but it's okay, WE ALL JUST NEED SOMEONE TO LOOK AT. HAHAHA.
  3. Their chapel could definitely pass for the Hogwarts dining hall, just take out the pews. HAHAHA. My imagination, whuuuuut.
  4. I like La Salle's architecture, actually. It looks so... epic. I dunno. Hahaha. The environment inside is nice. Facilities look good, too.
  5. I miss conversing in English already. :( Majority of La Salle's population speak fluent tagalog and I suuuck at it. I mean, I can speak the language but It's not how I usually talk to people ya know? I'd have to get used to this. I've only found a select few people from my block who converse in English.
  6. Speaking of my block, they're pretty cool. I made friends instantly on the first hour because all of them were so friendly! I have fun with them. They remind me of Janna's group in CSA. =)) Hello, Chloe, Gelo, Djane, and Cams! My first friends. =))) I know most of my blockmates already, which is good.
  7. HOT DAYUM, LSDC WAS LEGIT FIERCE AND HOT ON THE DANCEFLOOR, I JIZZED EVERYWHERE. ANGAS/HARDCORE FTW!!
  8. CENTENNIAL DANCE, FTW. It's fun though. I really like the choreo!! I love dancing it (yes judge me now) and I really want to learn and master it.
  9. Being frosh means being alone. I just realized that having a social life in College is harder than I thought it would be. Starting from scratch is proving to be a tough challenge for the awkward dork that I am. It's sort of hard finding people I can truly relate to, among these thousands of students. It's like starting from the bottom of the food chain to climb your way up the social hierarchy.
  10. It also doesn't help that NONE of my close friends are in my block, college or let alone, the same school. I have friends/ex-classmates that I talk to, sure. But really? No CSA support at all. :( I was lonely and friendless for those 2 days. :( I saw so many people with their friends from high school and it bummed me a bit because this time, I really was alone. Like, foreals. @-)
  11. College also means: new reputation and status. What are you gonna be? For now, I really haven't decided on what I want to be in here. I'm still a stranger to most people, still a hidden face in a sea of people, and I don't know which side of me to show them. I've yet to make a name for myself. I don't know what my first impression was like to my blockmates, but I hope it's good. Hahaha. I was one of the noisy/hyper people in class. =))
  12. College is a completely new and different experience, I can tell you that. It's not high school anymore. There's so much adjusting to be done in order to survive this place. It scares me a bit because I don't think I'm capable of being on my own in here just yet.
  13. There are so many people in college. So many that you won't have the privilege to meet each and every one of them. People say you have to network in college. I think I'll be having a difficult time with that. =))) There are so many new faces wanting to be seen and known, so many people you want to meet, you don't even know where to begin, or how to begin. It's like a realm of endless possibilities, a never-ending string of connections. You get excited at the thought of seeing these people for 3 years and finding your way into meeting as much of them as you can.
  14. I feel like I'll be a nobody in here. I wasn't exactly a big fish in a small pond in high school, but I wasn't a small one, either. I was okay. People knew my name. I participated in school events, singing with the choir and whatnot. But in here I feel invisible and alone. I feel like some friendless loser. Hahaha. But I guess that's what being a frosh is like. I think I'll go 'orgless' for now. I don't know. I feel like being inactive. I am feeling rather anti-social, which is ironic because I seriously have got to make some friends here. Shit, I do not want to be forever alone HAHAHA.
  15. Maybe I should have gone to CSB instead. I was pondering about that awhile ago. It seems that my type of crowd is in there. They get me you know? We share the same humor and love for art and life. We have common interests and things to talk about. And my friends are in there. At least i'll have a large group to be with during my stay there.
  16. I think I should join orgs. I take back what I said earlier. In order to make friends and connections here, I've got to be with people on common ground. I need to know people who share the same interests as I do, and they could help me improve my craft. Also, I get to make new friends I can relate to! These people will be my family in college, and they will help me with my career. As opposed to my club in high school which was chorale which meant complete exposure all the time, this time i've decided to go underground. I'll focus more on media, photography, graphic design and video making. Maybe i'll get a bit more active once I have adjusted.
  17. THERE ARE SO MANY FAMILIAR FACES HERE. I think most of them have been on candy cuties. =))) Or I might have already seen them IRL, on TV/print ads, or lurked in their facebook accounts. OHOHO. But I swear, some people here look srsly familiar.
  18. DLSU is legit strict with rules and I am a bit intimidated, k. I always obey rules and all but that's because rules in high school didn't really seem legit. Teachers would always let you get away with it. But in here, it's like they're looking out for every single move you do. I'm too scared to make a minor offense, more so a major one. And the corresponding consequences are a hassle. So much has to be done. They're so strict you'd have to conform with the rules and live with it.
  19. Still haven't memorized this place yet. I will get lost. @-) I will, though, eventually. I like exploring new places and discovering my way with things.
  20. TAFT IS A SCARY AND SKETCHY PLACE, okay. Everyone looks like they're creepin' on yo ass, or maybe you're just paranoid. Well I know I am. But you can't be too sure right? I've heard countless stories of stealing and killing here. Ohgahd. This will suck for someone who commutes like me. It's like having your safety on the line everyday. :| I've already requested my mom to get me pepperspray. Srsly, taft scares the shit out of me.
  21. Also, commuting is a bitch. I mean, I like it sometimes, but there will be days wherein i'm too tired, or it's too hot, or it's raining like hell, and it's just ONE BIG HASSLE for me. :| My sched is really chill so I hope commuting won't make it less chill for me. :|
  22. LPEP was a great experience though! La Salle really prepared well for it. It was well thought of and organized. They definitely made it fun, interesting and memorable for the froshies. (Still don't know why it's 'frosh' upto now) Everyone really made group effort in putting together an event like this. It is definitely something to look forward to!
So far those have been my insights on college life for the past few days.
Wish me luck here, lovelies!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

college get up

my wardrobe cannot support my clothes for college, i swear =))
wearing civilian everyday is proving to be a challenge for me =))
Oh well, I need to make well use of my resources! After all, I only need the basic pieces and I can start from there. Just some mix and matching.

Made some looks on polyvore on how I imagine myself to dress on campus
I'm not too lean on the idea of dressing up too much since it is taft and it is sketchy, and i'll be commuting. I'll just be dressing up in a simple way
On days that I feel like being tall and confident, I shall wear wedges. Hahaha. Vests make you look extra neat too!

Blazers instantly make me look smart yet casual. ;)
Since it's rainy season, I'll be wearing alot of long sleeved tops.
On days that I might want to dress up just a bit, I might wear a bright top with a boyfriend polo and sneakers.
I really love this look. So simple and clean. I'd wear it on most days, if only I had boyfriend polo/blouses.
On days I feel kinda PANX (Haha) I will wear my boots (which is good since it's the rainy season!) and a simple top with skinny jeans. If I could, maybe I can even pair them with heels!
On lazy sunny/breezy days, I might wear loose/hanging tops, boyfriend jeans and sandals/flats.
There will be days that I will be wearing plaid. Hahaha.
On cold rainy days, I want to wear woven wool (?) tops
On a typical day, i'd be wearing a top, a cardigan and flats.

Also, the bag above is my dream college bag. @-) I need a big canvas bag! This bag is just too lovely. Anyone who knows where I can buy this please tell me! I'm going shopping for college stuff next week!

orientation in awhile.
later lovelies
wish me luck!

Monday, May 9, 2011

monster hospital

I will always hate hospitals.
always.
I think that it is the most depressing place in the world.
The mere sight of it just... sickens me. :|
But today, I had to make an exception since I wanted to visit Gab.
He has dengue. :(

Quite a little adventure going there. I'd have to get used to commuting around Manila since i will be spending the next 3 years of my college life in Taft. I really need to know my way around Manila. Another city to conquer. ;) It was easy getting there, actually. Google mapped it the other night, and then i already knew my way. one jeep, one mrt ride and one lrt ride that drops me off exactly at the place.

I stayed in for around 6 hours but there was never a dull moment, quite surprisingly. :o
you'd think i'd be bored, but I enjoyed taking care of Gab. Hahaha.
Although I really hate seeing the IV and the injections. Scary stuff. :(
I really hope he gets better soon.

I bought him flubby (fluffy + chubby, lol) since he didn't bring his wawa HAHA. oh well, he might get a little lonely. also bought him perks of being a wallflower, if ever he gets bored and decides to read something.

when he had a power nap, i decided to go around and i found book sale! if i weren't broke, i seriously would've bought A HELL LOT of back issues because they were all below 100 omg @-) I got myself Nylon, though, with Mila Kunis on the cover :D

good day. :)

it is now tuesday morning and i am still up, and i have a bloody passport appearance + a go see for a coke print ad later. i need to sleep soon (but you know, i'm wired to stay awake forever because i'm a fucking vampire)

...and i look like shit right now. i guess crying at 4 in the morning over the most morbid things was a bad idea. no actually, watching charlie st. clouds at this time is the worst idea ever. :|

morning lovelies
hope you have a lovely day

---

back from today.
yes i'm making this a double day post since not much is going on anyway.

just had our go see for a coke print ad.... and also a tvc. FFFUUUU
My brother didn't tell me about the commercial part :|
and we all know how much i hate acting and just seriously CAN'T ACT FOR SHIT.
like, at all :|

Bullshit, i can't believe i had to go through that, WITH MY MOM ON SET, GOOD LORD that just makes everything worse than it already was
I swear, I was so awkward (like i always am) but maybe more awkward than usual HAHAHA
always and forever going to be an awkward kid

i had to drink coke and act like i was inlove with it or something
and of course it came out awkward, i bet my acting (if you can even call it that) was as awkward as kristen stewart HAHAHA
whatever, i don't want to get cast for that, i made it patapon Hahaha

also felt quite disoriented today, i dunno @-) I feel so... meh~
anyway it was nice to see zhiela and loise, and possibly, hopefully and maybe PLANS MIGHT ACTUALLY HAPPEN. at least that's something to look forward to

tomorrow is my orientation for la salle
i am actually quite excited! i cant wait to make new friends :)
college life, here i go!

Sunday, May 8, 2011

mother dearest

so I celebrated mother's day today
i'm not exactly the type to prepare for hallmark occasions like these but i figured, why not?
my mom has been nothing but good to me and she deserves something great for all the sacrifices she's made
i think this might have been the first time i actually did something for mother's day
...or maybe the second, but the one before might have been light years away... Hahaha

mango cake from red ribbon

Yes, I conspired with my Tito Haha



fresh flowers from the market :)

a picture of us during my high school graduation

I think she was happy about it. We ate in Amici later on to celebrate. :)
I'm not planning to make a post about the wedding I attended during the weekend, but I have some pictures up on my Tumblr. :)

later lovelies.

makeover

feeling a little blue last night and incidentally i flipped through Candy's pages and they had exactly what i needed! how ironic!









TO DO LIST: (According to make over your mood)
  1. GO ON A ROAD TRIP. [NEED. I SWEAR TO GOD.]
  2. MAKEOVER YOUR WARDROBE [DUDE, NEED. FOR COLLEGE. NEED TO SHOP FOR NEW CLOTHES.]
  3. SPA. [OMG, NEED. I WANT MANI/PEDI/MASSAGE PLZ.]
  4. VISIT AN AMUSEMENT PARK. [not really needed, but maybe an alternative like going to a comedy bar or partying or getting wasted HAHAHA]
  5. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH HAPPY, ENERGETIC PEOPLE. [I NEED THIS THE MOST.]

happy mother's day :)

to the mother i never knew

and to the mother that raised me

happy mother's day everyone!
make your moms feel loved today. :)

Saturday, May 7, 2011

midnight thoughts


//another tl;dr post

right now, all i can think about are:

conversations under the moonlight, singing songs in a camp fire, watching the stars under a blanket, deep conversations until the sun rises, long road trips with friends, laughters echoing, screaming random retarded things whilst on the road, staying out late pulling pranks, bonding in sleepovers, running to nowhere, being comfortable in the company of friends, or just being happily retarded together

- and fuck, just a lot of things that could and should have been.

i need a makeover - both body and soul. i need to renew my spirit. i need to refresh it and feel rejuvenated. i need something to fill me. i need to ignite the fire inside of me again. i've been feeling pretty lifeless lately. routine is draining the life out of me. i need to feel alive again. I need something to smack the living daylights out of me. i need to get hit in the face by life again, i need to wake up.

Awake.
I need to be awake.

I need some kind of retreat. A break - from everything. My soul can't rest until it gets what it needs. Not exactly detaching myself from everything and everyone but actually quite the opposite. I need people, I need places, I need life - happening. I need to feel infinite, invincible and fearless again.

I need teen camp again.
I can't stop thinking about getting shipped to a far away place in the hills stuck with people for 5 days. the possibilities are endless, i can tell you that from experience.

or maybe even just a 5 day trip with friends. we'd be out of town, exploring places together, taking thousands of pictures, staying up all night, eating different dishes, experiencing thrilling activities and good lord, the things we would do! we'd be unstoppable!!

I really hope I can make that possible, sigh. :/

maybe college could turn this mood 360 degrees around.
let's hope to that.